Or that they wish they looked like so and so… I might actually throw up. Like, projectile vomit all over the fucking place. It’s gross. Stop doing it.
You might not realize this, because thinking those thoughts are totally selfish, but when you say that to someone else, you’re not always complimenting them. Sometimes, you’re making them feel shitty about their body, because you’ve made them feel like, just by existing, they’ve made you feel badly about your body.
Additionally, it’s just the most dang harmful thing you can allow yourself to think. That person’s body/face will never be yours. Ever. Logically, you know that. You can appreciate bodies without making yourself feel like yours is inadequate. Give it a go. Try to talk yourself through it when thoughts like that go through your mind.
Reblogging myself for relevance.
I honestly cannot handle one more message from someone sharing these damaging thoughts with me.
I know sometimes you’re just saying it, and you don’t really mean it, but sometimes you aren’t just saying it, and you really do mean it, because you’re unhappy with your body.
Instead of wishing you looked like me, try embracing who you are.
A big YES to all of this (well, except the projectile vomit part - I never advocate for projectile vomiting). One of the most damaging things you can do to yourself is compare yourself to others, full stop. You will never win under this way of thinking, it can only lead to a bad, bad place. Part of learning to love and accept yourself is stopping these thoughts in their tracks.
Someone I know recently said that a certain model who does a lot of work for a favourite clothing company really makes her feel bad about herself, and it made me so angry! First of all, the girl who said this is stunningly beautiful in her own right, but that doesn’t even matter. What matters is just how damaging this line of thinking is, for anyone whatever they look like, and how unfair it is to the model it was said about. The model cannot help how she looks and as such, through no fault of her own, causes really negative, horrible feelings in another person. I would imagine that would make her feel terrible to find out. This line of thought is just a cycle of damage for everyone involved.
Appreciate others, for sure; there is nothing wrong with admiring someone you find attractive for whatever it is you find attractive about them. Just don’t turn it on yourself. For example, I am gaga for Micheline Pitt, I think she is absolutely stunning. But I do not for a moment compare myself to her or wish that I looked like her; I admire her for what and who she is and leave it at that.
Bottom line: you will NEVER be anyone but yourself, no matter what you do, so the best and healthiest thing you can do is embrace that and learn to love it. You will be so much happier as a result.