I absolutely love you all and have no problem with you identifying as fat (as you are fat and it’s hella awesome) but please, for the love of all that is holy, stop acting as if your size 12/14/16 body has the same mental, physical, spatial, and societal issues as my size 32 does. You don’t understand. And it’s fine that you don’t understand! It doesn’t make you a bad person! As long as you treat me with respect and dignity and get that this world is fucked up in varying ways, I still think you’re awesome!
You not being able to understand or feel what it’s like to live in a 300/400/500 pound body doesn’t reflect on you as a person. But you not taking into consideration that someone in a 300/400/500 pound body has different issues and difficulties than you…well that kinda does make you a bad person. Because you’re not stepping outside of yourself long enough to examine how different degrees of otherness exist and work.
We’re all fighting our own battles. And while our battles are both on the field of Living as Fat…you have more ammunition than I do. In this society, in this world, you have advantages that I don’t. Your degree of fatness is more accepted by society than mine is. And, again, I stress that it doesn’t make you a bad person or a fatphobic person or a bad fatty. It just means you have privileges that I don’t.
You’re more likely to receive a job and make more money. You’re more likely to be treated well by doctors. You’re more likely to fit into desks and be able to squeeze through tight spaces. It’s easier for you to find clothes that you can fit into, like, and afford. You’re more likely to be able to adopt children and less likely to have your food choices watched and judged. You’re less likely to be insulted, mocked, harassed, or attacked. Hell, you’re even more likely to be taken seriously when you talk about fat/body acceptance!
I love you. And the privileges you have are based on nothing that you’ve done or gained intentionally. It’s just the way the cards were dealt. Again, your privilege doesn’t make you a bad person. But if you read these words and your response is to tell me how NONONOIHAVEITBADTOOLETMETELLYOUHOW… Well. Then you might consider rereading this and thinking about what you need to do differently in order to further the cause of acceptance and the ending of oppression.
Your privilege doesn’t make you a bad person. Refusing to acknowledge it does.
ETA: I’m sorry but I have to add this.
A 200 pound person is treated differently than a 500 pound person. It honestly never occurred to me that that would be argued. If a 300 pound weight difference didn’t impact how someone was treated? Fatphobia wouldn’t even exist, now would it?
The way society treats and judges and shits on 200 pound people is bullshit. If you’re towards the smaller side of fat, your struggles are real and they suck and they need to stop! And I will yell and scream for your right to own and control your body and to be treated with dignity and respect with my dying breath. But our struggles in this world are different. And acknowledging that doesn’t diminish your pain or your feelings. It just fucking validates mine.